My Amazon Prime is renewing this month. And one of my goals this year was to cancel our Amazon Prime account. But I failed.
I failed because the idea of breaking up with one-day or two-day shipping at my fingertips feels daunting. It’s embarrassing how often we receive packages. Diapers. Baby wipes. A new running water bottle for my husband. The face sunscreen I like. New toys for our cat. A new pack of socks for my toddler that he seems to have grown out of in one day…
I imagined a version of myself that shopped locally. Someone who was ahead of our needs so that we didn’t need the 24-hour shipping. Someone who stopped supporting a company that’s about as unsustainable as it gets.
Because there’s no question that Amazon is a massive engine of emissions and exploitation.
In 2022, Amazon emitted 71.3 million metric tons of carbon dioxide, more than the annual emissions of entire countries like Austria or Bangladesh. And despite the company loudly saying it's committed to reaching net-zero carbon by 2040, that’s a 40% increase since 2019.
Behind the flashy sustainability campaigns, Amazon has quietly sidestepped internationally recognized carbon offset standards, instead creating its own internal certification system. This raises major red flags about the transparency and credibility of their carbon offsets, as there’s no regulation or oversight of them. It goes to show that they don’t actually care about being a sustainable company.
They also have a huge waste problem. A 2021 investigation revealed that in just one UK warehouse, 124,000 items were marked “destroy” in a single week. I mean, yikes, right? That’s an unfathomable amount of items going to a landfill before they’ve even been used!
And the harm doesn’t even stop at emissions and waste. They have a toxic workplace with an injury rate double that of the industry average. Plus, Amazon’s dominance across the world has fueled the closure of tens of thousands of small businesses. They are draining money and life from local economies that once thrived on bookstores, hardware shops, and mom-and-pop retailers.
I mean, it’s a no-brainer. If I want to support ethical companies, I need to stop giving Amazon my money. I know this. I care about this. I believe in purchasing power and putting your money where your mouth is.
And still, the Amazon boxes pile up.
Because I’m also 7 months pregnant. And I know I’m about to be in the newborn haze where I need diapers, pacifiers, baby wipes, and formula as soon as possible. And the idea of adding "figure out how to stay on top of everything before you need it" to the to-do list? I just don’t know if I’m mentally and emotionally prepared to give up the convenience of one-day shipping.
This phase of life, where I’ll have a toddler, a new baby, and little time to myself, will be hard. I want to make all the other things as easy as possible. I want systems in place that don’t require me to bundle two kids into car seats to go grab more baby wipes. I want the option to check something off my mental to-do list at 11 p.m. when I’m feeding a baby.
And yet, it doesn’t sit right.
I write about sustainability. I vote for climate policy. I spend my time picking up trash around The Great Salt Lake. I try to show my son that if we love nature, we need to live in a way that shows that. But here I am, quickly jumping on my computer and quietly clicking “Buy Now.”
I’m not proud of it. But I also think it’s important to say out loud. Because sustainability is a constant tug-of-war. Between values and convenience. Between ideals and exhaustion. Between the world I want to help build and the realities of surviving everyday life.
So here’s where I am: I’m not quitting this month. But I am paying attention. I made a list of the top things we buy from Amazon, which are mostly baby essentials and the random odds and ends. I’m trying (and often succeeding) to find slower, better, local, more ethical alternatives.
I’m setting the goal again. By next October, before my Prime membership renews, I want to finally break up with Amazon. In the meantime, I’ll approach the process with thoughtfulness and intention—and give myself some grace along the way.
I think a lot about this too, living in a small town where Walmart and target are a 30+ minute drive. We order a lot from Amazon, though we don't pay for prime (mostly because we're cheap haha).